“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
Thomas Jefferson
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Get Lucky - Improve the Odds
Improving the odds for dating can be related to the probability of
(1) Getting a date, or
(2) Avoiding rejection
The first of these is concerned with playing the game, realising it’s to do with numbers and that in order to succeed you need to have a strategy. If you want to win the lottery buy lots of tickets. You can’t guarantee a win but you can make it much more likely!
You cannot avoid the risk of rejection but you can reduce the likelihood of it happening, and this involves such things as going to the right places, reading the signs and watching for feedback.
Improve the Odds of Getting a Date
In looking for dates, you cannot guarantee the number of successes you will have. When asking a woman for coffee, you have no idea what the underlying probability of success is. It varies for each person but does exist. The only thing you can control is the number of attempts. Rather than concentrating on getting dates, concentrate on asking as a determinant of success.
If your requests for a coffee have been declined five times, ten times, twenty times, what is the probability of a successful outcome the next time you ask? Provided you remain consistent in your approach, the probability remains the same as the first time you asked. The only thing which has changed is your mental state.
This is not to say that you have to accept the probability of success you find you have. It can be improved. Work on your approach, take feedback and improve.
Improve the Odds of Avoiding Rejection
The vast majority of men want to be more successful when dating women, but most of them do nothing about it. They wait and take whatever comes their way, which is usually nothing - standing there with their eyes closed and hands open but hoping to catch a ball! You can have a strategy which trusts to luck, but in dating, success by luck doesn’t happen very often. You can sit and wait for it to happen or become pro-active. The first approach trusts to luck and the second builds by design.
Most men know they need more skills and success when it comes to meeting and dating women but they won’t get off their backsides and go out and learn those skills. It’s as if they believe they are some sort of loser if they look for help in how to meet women. It’s one of the things you weren’t taught when you were young and no-one explained it to you. However you don’t have to be naturally talented to pick up women - you can learn, practice and improve. You weren’t born knowing how to walk or speak. You couldn’t drive or read. These were skills you learned when you needed them. Being successful with women is just another skill that you can learn.
When you know what to do, success is easy. Small adjustments in the actions you take make massive differences in your success with women. You need to know the opportunities and situations to look out for. Suddenly, instead of trusting to luck you have a strategy with a feedback loop.
Who and When to Approach
The secret is to learn, to remove the red flags and take the input to improve your experiences.
One definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. If you try something and it doesn’t work try something else. Vary what you do. Eventually you will start to get some success which you look to improve on. Give yourself some yardsticks s you can tell if you are progressing.
This is why dating help which just provides pick-up lines or concentrates on reading her won’t work for everyone. Everyone is different so you need a plan you can tailor to your own circmstances. You have to build your own plan and go at your pace!!
Get a Plan
Get a plan, put it into practice and carry it out.
Your plan has to recognise your feelings and the things you can control. You cannot control the success or failure of anything you try but you can control the act itself and the way you feel about it. Why worry and give value to something you can’t control only influence?
Where to approach
If you decide to go fishing, you will naturally choose somewhere where you believe there are some fish. If you want to improve the odds of catching one you go somewhere there are lots of fish. Technically you put yourself in a target rich environment on a regular basis.
Dating is exactly the same. You can’t just sit around and hope the right woman will turn up. You need to put yourself in the right sort of environment where you will meet the right sort of woman, someone with a similar outlook, similar values and similar interests.
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“Learn the fundamentals of the game and stick to them. Band aid remedies never last”
Jack Nicklass
“Doing more of what doesn’t work won’t make it any better”
Charles Givens
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Your Goal
Improve the odds of getting a date by choosing the right places to go and asking the right women.
The Plan
Develop a plan and look for feedback to improve your odds. Identify where the types of woman you will date would socialise. Practice and plan for various scenarios so you are prepared.
Article First Published on EzineArticles Improve Your Dating Odds
