“Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it”
from Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
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Where Are the Women?
To meet women the number one rule is go where women go. Fish in well stocked barrels but make sure the barrels contain salmon and not sharks!
The two main options open to you are to go where you know women are looking for men or to go to where women hang out. The first approach includes using the internet, speed dating, personal adverts and agencies. The main benefit of this method is that the initial filtering (i.e. deciding if the woman is looking for a man) has already been done - it’s like fish jumping into your net. The major problem is that each woman has a large choice and you may get filtered out of her search! You have to present yourself in the best possible light, accentuating your positives, eliminating the negatives and marketing yourself.
The second approach involves going to places where women aren’t necessarily looking for a partner, talking to them and asking for their contact details or a date. It seems more risky, and while the odds of getting a “No” increase, there is more choice and women do appreciate men who make this sort of effort. This is more like fishing in the sea - the chances of a bite decline but the choice is better. You just have to cast your line more often and be prepared for a shark to bite!
Finally there are places where girls hang out and there are places where men hang out - go where the girls are. The trick here is to decide what kind of woman you are looking for and put yourself in that target rich environment. Go where girls are and charm them early in the evening. Use your strategy to get a telephone number, email or date and then move on whether you succeed or not.
Contacting Women You Know Are Looking for a Man
Internet
The internet can be free, instantly accessible, you can search for matches and it can be viewed safely and securely from your own home. In addition the internet is a great place for practicing talking with women. You don’t have to meet them and you can practice your conversation and humour skills. You can use chat rooms to gain confidence in total anonymity, perhaps starting as part of a group and then progressing to one-to-one conversations. You can also use e-mails and send a message to introduce yourself more fully. Internet dating offers a greater choice.
Speed Dating
The beauty of speed dating lies in its simplicity and no-nonsense approach. The principle is to take an equal number of males and females, put them in a room and ensure that they have a few minutes to chat with every member of the opposite sex.
As with all the opportunities available to you, the advice has to be to give it a try, not just once but four or five times as a minimum at different venues and with different organisers. Confidence comes from doing.
As with other approaches before you start get a strategy and a plan. You can then go into the meetings knowing what you are doing.
Dating Agencies
Dating agencies are the physical equivalent to cyber dating on the internet and the points made there are equally applicable here. These days agencies are often considered old fashioned, slow and long winded but they still do have their place, particularly in specialised areas.
In the main, you get what you pay for. The more money you have to pay the more of a barrier to entry there is and the more select the women who (should be!) on the books. Hence agencies have evolved to operate in specialised markets, such as professionals.
Personal Ads
Personal ad dating, normally through newspapers, has always suffered the stigma of smacking of desperation though the new methods involving premium rate phone messages, and even text messaging, is an innovation, though can be expensive.
It’s a fact of life that women placing ads get more responses than men, on average it must be three times more. I’m not sure if this is indicative of the desperation of men who make more effort to make contact or the more choosey nature of women!
In my experience I got far more success replying to women’s ads than in ones I placed myself and as I improved my communication techniques and worked out what worked the response rate improved.
Going Where Women Go
The second method of meeting women is to simply go where they go. Have some idea of the type of woman you want to meet and then think where she would socialise and hang out. Using the previous phrase, look for the target rich environments.
So review where you go and then determine if your type of woman would go there.
Pubs
Generally not good places to meet women as they tend to be masculine
Bars
When it comes to meeting women all bars are not created equal. Some bars are much more conducive to meeting and having conversations with women.
Coffee Bars
Coffee shops are the new singles bars. They are pleasant and women like to go there to spend some time with no stress.
Clubs/Classes
Whichever event you choose, keep in mind your target woman.
Gym
Women tend not to go to the gym expecting to be approached, she may have been approached before and she may have force fields to maximum.
Holiday
Holidays can be good places to meet women, especially if you go on themed or other singles holidays where you know you will be meeting single women with similar interests.
Nightclubs
Nightclubs would appear to be the ideal venue, but all too often a night out to the local hotspot seems to leave you with nothing more than a hangover and a hole in your wallet. The odds seem to be in your favour but the venture often fails. You need to develop a strategy.
Parties
It’s easy to meet women at parties. Don’t stick with men or women you already know but mingle and socialise.
Shopping
Everybody has to shop, and most women enjoy shopping. Therefore when you know the type of woman you are looking for, you will know where she shops for food, clothes and other goods.
Social Events
In your new life social events are a prime opportunity to meet women. It’s a good maxim not to decline invitations to social events, whether associated with work, friends or clubs. Say yes whenever you can.
Travel
Travelling by public transport provides plenty of opportunities to talk to women. This applies to trains, planes, buses and coaches. Again think through some conversations you could have and prepare.
Work
Work can be a good place to meet women, but the associated problems can outweigh the benefits. These are the distractions caused while the relationship is going on and what happens when it ends. On balance it would probably be advisable to keep work and dating separate.
Friends/Relations
Finally don’t overlook the obvious. Women like to meet men through their friends and not be picked up, so don’t forget to tell everyone you are looking and ask if they have any potential candidates.
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“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
Steven Wright
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Your Goal
Know where women go, go there and know what to do to meet those women.
The Plan
Examine your own life to understand where compatible women like to go. Investigate these places and determine strategies for approaching women and getting their contact details.
Article First Published on EzineArticles Where Woman Go - Meeting Women to Date